Forgetful Series gets a reset

A reset, what the hell does that mean?

In what journalists and pundits have been calling the "A Series To Forget", the TNHL 2010 Championship took another odd turn this morning as the league declared the first two games of the series "in default."

The series has been plagued by an assortment of memory lapses: players forgetting equipment, defenseman forgetting assignments, forwards forgetting how to score. The current commissioner did not want to be left out of this Alzheimer craze.

Turns out Chasse forgot his own rules- allowing a player to participate without paying his full dues. Former commissioner and now Head of Communication for the league, James McGee was asked to comment.

"Mr. Chasse asked me to send out a very simple directive at the end of the regular season - pay in full or don't play in the play-offs. When Red Team Captain Kohn made the official protest after the game last night, we had to investigate. "

"It was a clerical oversight" stated the usually monetarily fixated commissioner "I'm sure he had every intention."

Apparently intentions don't count. Unable to find a receipt, Chasse is now forced to declare a reset to the series. The question remains, who was the cause of this incredible precedent?

Turns out that it was none other than Team Carter rookie Steve Dunn, who has not paid his dues in full, thus negating the results of the first two games.

"C'mon, he's a struggling med student" said one White teammate. "We got to cut him some slack."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat....?" screeched Captain Carter when told of the news. "I'm going for two here."

Sorry Mr. Carter, but a rule is a rule. The slate must be cleared, we must start afresh in order to maintain the integrity of the TNHL. Without integrity we are nothing.

"Integrity? Who's running this league, the politburo? This reset is a Stalin tactic if there ever was one" commented a dejected Carer. "We whupped them twice, we'll whup em' again. I don't care how many times "the league" tries to change things."

In an omission of a lesser sort, but nonetheless in keeping with the lapse of memory theme, star defenseman Paul "Hollywood Boy" Harp refused to play for Team Carter because he hmmm...forgot his underwear.

"I can't stand the feeling of my hockey equipment against my body."

Though Carter and Marancos pleaded with their defensive partner to at least try going "commando" for one night only, Harp would not relent.

"I'm a shell of a man without my long johns. Do you know where this stuff has been? I'm not letting this touch my skin."

Turns out Team Carter didn't need Harp's help at all as they cruised to an easy 7-2 victory in last night's game - despite Red Team goalie Ronnie the K's valiant effort to keep things close. Matt "Blackberry Boy" Maclaren, the aforementioned Steve "See Me On Payday" Dunn and the newly invigorated Scotty "Don't call me Kyle" Driscoll were among the scorers for Team Carter.

But alas, the victory was in vain, an an almost insurmountable 15-6 total goal tally will be wiped from the record.

"I'm looking forward to starting afresh" said a glowing Kohn "it's the right thing to do."

So for the first time in league history the final series gets a reset and boils down to a two game, total goal series. Let's hope everyone remembers to show up. For those seeking equipment cleaning or an extra set of underclothing, we have attached the links below.

http://www.victoriassecret.com/

http://www.kleennhardsports.com/Equipment_Kleening/equipment_kleening.htm