Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Goal judges star in last game of regular season

Team Carter wins 9-7 to secure position in play-offs

It was Felix Ungaro, TNH's resident goal judge who summed it up best:

"Man, I haven't seen that kind of action since 2007."

Felix was referring to the classic fourth game of the TNH Championship- Lee vs. Christen - in April 2007. A nine-four victory that sealed the cup for Team Christen.

"Man were my thumbs tired after that one."

Though there were more goals in last night's goalie nightmare - a 9-7 a win for Team Carter - the fact that it wasn't a play-off match made the sting easier to bear.

Team Red Colonel, Michael "Killer" Kohn was un-phased by the result "I wanted to try a few new line combinations before the big series."

Peter "The Doctor" Ballyk responded to the Colonel's tinkering with (according to goalie Georgie Mac ) four goals.

"I like the way the Doctor's operating, if you know what I mean" said Kohn.

Especially since his star forward Livesay seems to be entering a "periodic" funk.
The Lipper left the ice with ten minutes to go last night for no apparent reason. When asked about his departure, Livesay had this to say:

"If I don't get to my post game yogurt at the right time, it tends to get to get too warm for my liking. I'm experimenting with various cooling techniques so I'm not distracted during the play-offs."

His teammates hope he finds the right combination as well.

The Colonel was also able to shore up his defensive troops,with the addition of Sean Giles* - a Cameron Smith disciple.

"With Lewis missing, Graves hurting, and Big Dave performing Paul Coffeyesque duties I need a little more hmmm, stability behind me."

Giles, a classic stay at home rearguard spent a lot of time on the ice last night, but only because (we hope) he wanted to impress the colonel.

And where the hell is the Kommandos star defenseman Lewis? Has boss man and business partner Velagic (former captain of the red squad) been acting out of spite by giving Mark extra duties, making him unavailable for his Tuesday Night duties?

"I'm not saying he's spiteful, but I'm getting the feeling he doesn't want to see my name on the cup" offered Kohn. "I'm hoping Nedd lets him come out next week."

Is Team Carter finally coming together at the right time?

"I'm pretty optimistic about our chances of repeating" said a slightly reserved Carter. "Everyone is back and healthy and ready to go."

"On defense we got rookie Kris Millar playing like a vet, veteran Chasse playing like a rookie and Matty Maclaren's moving like he's on "Dancing With The Stars."I've got Travis Bickle Caron*back to give Stevie Dunn someone to pass to, and well, with Marancos over his lower body injury, the play of the twins has been exceptional. "Sedin-like" if you ask me."

Carter was referring to his deceptive pairing of Scott Driscoll and Kyle Marancos, "The Slim Boy Twins."

"Hey they're out there for a reason. Lets just say they create room, and opportunities for each other."

"I just like having the option of having them both to pass to" offered veteran centre Brett "Breakaway Boy" Christen. "I think that's the key to us repeating."

And what are goal judge Felix's predictions?

"I'm not allowed to predict, as per the un-biased nature of my job. However, I'm going to make sure to have a few extra red bulbs available."

The play-offs begin next week.

*Has paid in full and thus qualifies for the play-offs

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Overly opinionated, former commissioner of TNH.